School + Mental Health = Chaos
“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light”— Aristotle
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So I know everyone my age has no fucking clue what to do with their life, and University is the time to figure everything out. I had an idea what I wanted to do; I wanted to go into med school and specialize in neuroscience because of my fucked up brain, but I said fucked up brain fucked up my plans. Everything fell through the cracks.
So basically, my mental health significantly improved during the first year of university. I literally gave up on school; the subjects I was good at became the ones I struggled most with. I failed a class, dropped another, and everything was horrible. I ended up dropping a required course, thinking I would be able to take it in the fall of next year, but now I realize I can’t. That means everything gets pushed behind one year, and if I want to go into a specialization, I can’t because I didn’t complete all the required courses.
My depression made it difficult for me to do well in school, and I’ve talked about this before so that I won’t go into too much detail, but that made it suck.
Now I might not have the grades to go into another specialized program or the mental capacity to try out for a neuroscience program because it needs physics, and I wouldn’t say I like physics. Well, that’s not true; I can, but it’s not my strong suit or something I enjoy, and I don’t want to do it with the mental state I have if I would even give it much effort.
Does anyone know how to get out of a depression rut? Or how do I care about school when I don’t care?
Wow, I sound depressed.
This entire post was me saying that mental health makes school impossible, school causes mental health, and I now live in a cycle that never ends.
It may be short, but from my other post, I think you can gather how fucked up I am sometimes. But it’s funny to me because schools must have mental health awareness week and say our mental well-being matters when school is such a major factor in our mental health going to shit. The stress of the due dates, marks, keeping up with the wanted persona at school, fitting in, not seeming dumb, etc.
A school is a place for us to learn but — at least for me — it is such a stressed inducing environment that I feel like I’m suffocating and drowning at the same time. There’s so much you have to worry about at once, and everything gets ten times worse when you have those teachers who are, “well, that sucks for you, but it’s not my problem.” You know those teachers that don’t give a fuck, and you can walk up to them and beg and cry for an extension, help, or whatever you need because your mental health is deteriorating, and they sit there and shrug. They might tell you to see the school counsellor, but they don’t do anything to help. I’ve had a few teachers like that, and I’m sure everyone does.
I wish there were a way of doing school without having a panic attack every five seconds because I’m stressed.
This was a short rant, but I just wished the school did more to prep students with dealing with our mental health or even study techniques. Like I don’t know how to take notes from a textbook efficiently, I copy the entire thing. In my brain, everything is necessary because I don’t know what the professor might ask, so I need to be prepared. I wish we learned how to succeed in school, and they exposed us to all methods of study techniques, study routine, note taking and giving us the skills we need to succeed in school.
Thank you for reading; I hope you have a fantastic day or night or whenever you’re reading this.
A. B💜
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