Getting My Creativity Back--Writer's Block Pt. 1

“Writing about writer’s block is better than not writing at all” — Charles Bukowski

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Dear readers,

So in a previous post titled “When Health Takes Your Coping Mechanisms Away,” I talked about how I got into writer’s block. After a depressing episode, I lost my creative flow and now — four months later — I’m still stuck. I tried writing one-shots during my writer’s block, and although they are short, they took a long time to get out because I would write two sentences, erase, then write two words, erase, and then close my laptop in frustration. It was a rough go.

My issue now with this writer’s block isn’t that I don’t have ideas; I do; they are either terrible or very few ideas. My biggest problem is getting these ideas — usually written in point form — in sentences and paragraphs and creating a structured chapter. I have ideas; I don’t know how to get them onto paper and form a plot.

I want to get back to writing. I want to create fictional stories, so this is me in my first week of trying to get my writing back on track. If you have any advice, please tell me; I need it.

First things first are getting inspiration. I stopped reading during my low points of depression, and when my health was at its worst, I decided to pick it back up. I am currently reading “Siege and Storm” by Leigh Bardugo. I already read the first book in the trilogy, and it was — in my opinion — good enough to read the sequel. Also, the story doesn’t end after the first book. I need to know how the major plot ends, so I’m reading the second book and have the third on my bookshelf. The second book is so far so good; a bit slow at the beginning, but still pretty interesting.

Day 1:

The first thing I did was go onto Quip — a google docs website where I store all my writing — and re-read my past blog post. I decided to stick to just my block post because I know if I go back and re-read my old unedited fiction stories is not going to help while I’m trying to get out of my funk.

Hopefully, you guys would be glad to see that I worked out a schedule (if I stuck to it, this should be going out on October 30). Happy early Halloween, everyone!

I’ve had ideas for a new book swirl around in my head, and I created a new folder for the book and wrote down an extensive list of bullet points of ideas.

The next thing I did was go onto canvas, and I created my Instagram post for my blog post and had some fun with some of the designs of the quotes.

It’s nothing big, but it’s a start.

Day 2:

On the second day of the week, I edited my first post back on Medium, called “Missing One’s Self,” which, if I was on schedule, should already be out by the time this post is up.

I did some more reading and felt some more ideas swirl around in my head, and the ideas are becoming easier. It’s still slow, but once again, it’s a start.

Day 2 isn’t all that eventful, but I’m willing to run a marathon and not a race if it means getting myself back in its entirety.

Day 3:

I went through my writing book, a notebook where I put all my writing ideas — ones that aren’t ready to be turned into a book or ones that come to me in the middle of the night. First, my handwriting is horrible when I’m half-awake and scribbling down a plot before I forget it. Secondly, it helped me somewhat see the plotline I was going for all those months ago, and some new ideas came back.

I attempted writing today, and that didn’t work out too well. I stared at a blank document and got a few words but nothing worth putting in as my final draft. This was heartbreaking to me, and I nearly gave up, but I told myself that if I gave up, I would need to come up with another idea for October 30 and given what I’m currently struggling with, that’s not a good idea. So, I sat myself down and didn’t get up until I got to at least 1500 words and guess what? I got to 1500 words! I’ll probably have to rewrite half of it in editing, but hey, I got sentences and paragraphs.

Day 4:

Day four was an absolute bust. I got stuck and couldn’t even put a word down on my document and spent most of my time staring at the screen than typing.

Day 5:

Day five wasn’t much better since I didn’t do much creative writing because school got too complicated. I added three more classes to my timetable — all of which were not my choosing — and I got overwhelmed and stressed. I had a pretty big panic attack that led to intrusive thoughts right as I was about to sleep, which led to insomnia and me reading in my bathroom — because I live in a shared bedroom dorm — and sleeping at like 4 a.m.

Day 6:

I took a relaxing day today to recover from the past two days. I skipped my morning lecture — not mandatory attendance, and he has recordings — and I slept in and spent the day reading. I needed a distraction from the night before, so getting lost fictional character’s life to escape my own life was what I needed.

Day 7:

The last day of the week that I’m documenting.

I went to a creative writing club on campus; we met outside one of the main buildings and sat in a circle on the lawn, looking a bit like a colt at night. I was freezing my ass off because today the temperature decided to drop out of nowhere, but I made a new friend today! We received a prompt where we had to introduce ourselves like a character in a book. My prompt is below, but I would like to mention I’m still heavily in my writer’s flunk, so it isn’t my best, but here it is.

“Hi, I’m new to University. Is this the part of my story where I’m supposed to be a wide-eyed girl looking at the world like this is the best beginning to the journey? I don’t know. We all know that movies can’t seem to grasp what reality is.

I will be cheesy and say I am a small fish in the big ocean, but that’s how I feel. Kind of like Nemo but without the kidnapping. But if we’re going with cartoons, I’m more of a Dory. My memory sucks, and my sense of direction is worse.

I’m usually a dull person, definitely not primary character material, but that doesn’t mean I’m useless to the story.

I’ve always hated these questions where they ask you to describe myself because I never know how to answer that without getting snores as a response. I’m boring. I don’t like to party or go out too much because too much of the outside world gives me a headache. I want to write, hate school, and love being lazy. I’m also not a very good cook, but I found out recently that I am, in fact, capable of cooking a meal without burning the kitchen down. I think that’s character development.”

For this club, they also gave us a writing contest with the writing prompt as food, and I don’t know if I should do it. It’s only 1500 words, and I think I can manage that, but I’ve thought about ideas and none that are good enough to enter a contest. I don’t know; I’m still thinking.

In conclusion, I didn’t “breakthrough” my writer’s block, but I think it’s a start. I’m starting to get some of it back, but I need to figure out a schedule for my writing. I need a balance between school and writing. Do I write in the morning and wake up early to do so? Do I do it before bed and lose sleep that way? Do I take a break during the day and lose study time? I don’t know.

If you have any advice for me, I’ll take it. Please comment them below or email me.

I will continue to write stuff like this until my creative writing juices are up and flowing again!

Thank you for reading; I hope you have a fantastic day or night or whenever you’re reading this.

A. B💜

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The reason for the bow and arrow emojis is that I found this explanation of the bow and arrow and fell in love. One can take any symbol to mean whatever they want, so your meaning of a bow and arrow might differ from mine, and that’s okay. A bow and arrow help me keep my hope and determination in my future. An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backwards. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it will launch you into something extraordinary. Just remember to focus and keep your aim.