Botox Injections 2 + Medical Note
“We have two options, medically and emotionally; give up or fight like hell,” — Lance Armstrong
🏹🏹🏹
Dear readers,
Ah, a medical rant, my favourite type of rant because I have lots of stuff in the medical realm to talk about. I feel as if the medical world hates me, or at least the world is against me for getting better and finding the proper help that I need. You know, some people say that “finding your therapist is like dating. You need to find the one that matches you for that relationship to work.” I paraphrased that because I don’t remember the word-for-word quote, but it was something like that. I feel like me finding a doctor is the same thing. I have yet to find a good doctor that fits me. I had one, but she moved practices, and I couldn’t follow her because she moved to somewhere that only accepts 18 and under, and I am over 18.
I know many great doctors are out there, and being a doctor is complex and tiring. I respect and applaud everyone who is going into the field. It is a very demanding job, and part of me feels very bad/self-centred for saying this, but I have encountered so many doctors who dismissed me and my medical concerns that it made me feel crazy.
Remember when I went to the hospital a couple of months ago? Well, if you didn’t read that post, it’s called “Trip To The ER By Myself.” I talked about my experience going to the hospital by myself for the first time in a new city. I talked about it briefly in that post, and the doctor I had was nice. Still, I felt very rushed since he was checking his watch every few seconds, talking really fast, and when I was struggling to get words out and being slow, he seemed impatient and just wanted to hurry me along. Mind you, I had been in the waiting room for over twelve hours overnight, and I was exhausted, and all my symptoms were getting worse with the lack of sleep. I ended up crying on the way home, and I was so emotionally drained. But that ER doctor had referred me to a neurologist, and I can’t say my experience with him (the neurologist) is any better.
Long story short, he basically glossed over some of my concerns that my headaches were getting worse, told me that I could do a second round of Botox if I wanted and then sent me on my way. He got my history down and then told me to book another appointment for the botox. Although he didn’t rush me out of the room or make me feel like I was imposing on his time, I felt ignored. Anything I said, he just nodded and then moved on. It was like telling someone something you think is important and a cry for help, and their response is, “Hmmm, so what do you want to eat?” There was close to zero acknowledgement of what I said about any of my symptoms, and by that point, I was just so exhausted with everything that near the end of my appointment, I just nodded along and didn’t put up a fight.
One thing about me is that I am not a confrontational person. My anxiety rises so much, and I can’t speak; I want to cry, and I feel like throwing up. I always feel like I’m in the wrong — even when I know I’m not — and I’m in the way or being a bother to someone, so I mostly ignore the issue or keep silent until it blows up. It’s a horrible thing, I know, but fighting for something I want is not something I will do. (That’s a whole other post.) So, when it comes to getting doctors to listen to me, it’s the same thing. I feel sick, and I’m always on the verge of crying. I never end up getting the doctors to listen to me, and I walk out feeling worse about myself, or I feel batshit crazy as if I’m making up all of these symptoms or they are just in my head. Sometimes, I do think it’s all in my head. That’s why I hate invisible illnesses because there are no tests/scans that can be done to show physical proof that something is wrong, but there is something wrong. But if every doctor I encounter dismisses me, then maybe I am making all of this up because they are the ones who went to school for half their life, studying the human body, so they should know better. If they know better and say I’m fine, I should be fine, right? But I don’t feel fine. I feel like my body is deteriorating by the second; I feel as if my brain is killing itself or trying to burst out of my skull. I do not feel fine whatsoever. But why are doctors telling me I’m okay?
What makes it all worse is that after COVID, there are fewer and fewer doctors willing to take in new patients, so I can’t even ask to get a second opinion because finding one doctor took nearly eight months to do. I don’t have a family doctor anymore, and with someone with poor health, that’s a bad thing, but no family doctors are taking in new patients. There’s a doctor shortage now, with many doctors having quit, which I fully understand why because I cannot imagine how hard it must’ve been for anyone in the healthcare field to have worked during a global pandemic. The entire situation sucks, and sadly, this is now our new reality.
But my second round of Botox was done by the new neurologist that the ER doctor had referred me to. It was a completely different experience. When I had my first round done, the headache specialist talked me through everything, explained why she was injecting to the sites that she was and was constantly checking up on me. This doctor had done the exact opposite. When I got into the room, he asked how I was and when I told him about my headaches, he nodded and then jumped into the Botox. Once again, it felt like he was ignoring me, and internally, I sighed and decided to go with it because I knew this doctor wouldn’t listen to me. Then, when he did the injections, he rushed through it all, barely telling me anything, and I was in and out of that place in like fifteen minutes. Mind you, it’s thirty-something injections around my already sensitive head, and although I am not that scared of needles, everything felt too rushed.
Afterwards, my head was in a lot of pain as all the injection sites were sensitive and a bit swollen. I wasn’t out to the world for a week like I was last time; it was mostly the first day that my head felt terrible, and then it went back to normal the next day. I did have some of the Botox’s cosmetics effects as the Botox was injected on top of my eyebrow, so my frown lines and wrinkles were gone, and my forehead felt stiffer. I know I do not want Botox for cosmetics, as I wouldn’t say I like how it freezes my face.
Overall, the second round of Botox didn’t do much in terms of helping with my headaches, but I was told I needed to do it a couple more times before I ruled it out. Part of me doesn’t want to try more because I really hated the feeling of the Botox on my forehead. I’m supposed to do another round in a few weeks, so I will let you know how that goes.
I don’t know if there are more medicines I can do or more types of treatments for my head anymore, but I will try and talk to my neurologist to see what my other options are. For those who have tried Botox for migraines and it helped, contact me, please, because I want to know how the experience was for you and how many rounds you had to go through in order for it to help.
Thank you for reading; I hope you have a fantastic day or night whenever you’re reading.
A.B.💜
🏹🏹🏹
Comments
Post a Comment